once upon a time
there was a little girl
who couldn’t wait
to see the world
and so she came early
born much too soon
and had to go stay
in a hospital room
and there she grew
big and strong
because she slept
all night long
her parents loved her so
but felt unprepared
and so they chose us
because they knew we cared
with heavy hearts
they wished her the best
and found her new parents
to provide a better nest
and now you are here
and you know the rest!
There’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I’ve barely voiced it to anyone because I fear people think I have lost my damn mind and gone completely off the political rails. But hear me out, please.
I am tired of the concept of states as they exist in the USA.
First, we are clearly not United. Second, we are a far more mobile society than we used to be.
Perhaps I am alone in this opinion, but I’ve moved around a lot. And the only thing that stays the same is my passport. I’m not opposed to having local representation in federal government. Nor am I advocating for federal control over municipalities. But the world has shrunk and many of us move around a lot which essentially prohibits us from meaningfully participating in local government. My current living arrangement was meant to last for 2-3 months but instead has stretched out to 5 months with no permanent home on the horizon. I’ve gone to great pains to maintain my legal address in my former location for many reasons: to vote in this election, for tax purposes, for work purposes, credit purposes… but the longer I’m here, the more difficult it is. I do not want to change all my information to reflect a temporary living arrangement just so I can change it all over again in the next location. It’s a hassle, it’s expensive and it wrecks your credit.
Everything is entirely too dependent on what state you live in. I almost couldn’t buy a car in one state because my legal residence was in another. That’s stupid. When I say, “Please take my money!” your response shouldn’t be, “Only if you live here.” Thank Zeus for smart phones. I was able to change my address on an account through my phone and then show proof that I had an account with my temporary address on it. And in doing so, screwed up my plan to not become a resident here. I’m walking a fine line. I just want to make it to January for tax purposes.
I’m having the same issue trying to become involved in any sort of group that advocates for things I believe in. You have to be a member of a local chapter. If BLM can grow through Twitter, surely other groups can allow for involvement on a national, not local level. After all, I’m an introvert and prefer to do things online anyway. I don’t need to be in any one location.
So yeah, I’m kind of over States Rights at this point. And I doubt very much that that’s a popular opinion.
I’ve said it many times: I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe anything is preordained or destined. If X hadn’t happened that led to Y, Y may or may not have happened. It just wouldn’t have happened exactly how or when it did because of X. And while I appreciated the sentiments while I was waiting to adopt a child, I still don’t believe this child was meant for me in a way that some other child wouldn’t have been. Is this child and adoption situation a good match for us? Yes. Would all other children not have been? No.
That said, I’ve found the good in living with my in-laws at the moment. My preemie kid is not in day care. My MIL and BIL are both getting support they wouldn’t have otherwise had available. And now my uncle is very ill – perhaps gravely – and I live closer to him than I ever have before. And that’s good for both him and me.
So, yeah. This weird move has lasted much longer than I anticipated and my nerves are growing thin. But I’m where I need to be right now.
A realization came to me last night and another this morning.
1. I’m not reading enough AND
2. I need to make some lists
First off, since moving my life has been so uncertain I’ve somehow stopped reading books. I tend to favor watching TV shows now. I suppose its understandable. Both are escapes but one is more mindless than the other.
But with the outcome of the election I am feeling a very real need to take back control. To pull my head out of the sand do something about the things I CAN control. There’s so much uncertainty in my life right now I’ve just been ignoring pretty much everything. But there are some things I CAN control. And I need to start doing them.
First step is LISTS. I love lists. Just making a list calms me. So I’m gonna first make a list of all the lists I need to make. And then I’m gonna take back what control I have.
Now soliciting items to put on my list. Ideas welcome.
Well…it’s no secret that I’m disappointed today. Among many other emotions. I did not drink my bubbly. I did not put the Future President onesie on my daughter.
I am sad that the country I thought I knew and loved is not actually what I thought it was.
I am mad that kids are scared.
I am outraged that adults are making fun of kids who are scared and/or dismissing their fears.
I am sick of my emotions being described as “butt hurt.”
Things I heard today:
- Your brown kids don’t need to be scared if they are citizens.
- This implies that undocumented kids should be scared. YOU ARE ADVOCATING FOR SCARING CHILDREN FOR SOMETHING THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER.
- Excuse me? When was the last time someone asked for your proof of citizenship before engaging in racist behavior?
- If your kids are scared it’s your fault. This was followed by one of two possible reasonings:
- You’re not raising your kids in a bubble and exposing them to things they shouldn’t be exposed to.
- OR you ARE raising your kids in a bubble and that’s why they are too sensitive. For the love of peanut butter WHICH IS IT? Do I bubble wrap my child or not?
- Republicans didn’t act this way when Obama was elected. You’re joking, right? RIGHT?
- I’m tired of my non-racist white friends living in rural America with no economic relief being accused of being racist. Um…I can’t help you. Those poor, poor white males with lives that matter.🎻
Maybe tomorrow I can find a non-political topic. For now, me and my “butt hurt” are going to play with my kid and relish the fact that she’s too young to know what’s going on.
Well…it’s Election Day. We made it. For good or for bad we are here and hopefully the end is nigh. I’ve got my bubbly ready to celebrate our first female POTUS. My daughter has a onesie that says “Future President” on it. It’s laid out for tomorrow. I am ready to hear the sound of glass shattering.
Pardon while I go obsess over the polls while my bubbly chills.